green_medic

Callie had anticipated this moment. They worked at the same hospital, often on the same patients, how could they not run into each other, eventually? Despite both their best efforts the moment she had equally craved and dreaded had arrived and she was totally unprepared. Erica’s name had sounded foreign on escaping her lips and as the seconds passed in complete, excruciating silence she did nothing but pick at the chipped paint on the stair rail. She almost said something at least three times, each opening sticking in her throat as though she were literally choking on the atmosphere between herself and Erica. Eventually she flicked her eyes toward the blonde once more and on seeing that she was just shuffling uncomfortably on the spot she exhaled a deep sigh and descended the rest of the flight on which she has stopped. Erica was worrying the paint at the bottom of the rail much like Callie had been a few moments before, picking away at the tenuous protective covering was somewhat cathartic and busying her hands made her feel at least a little less anxious. As she reached the bottom step, now facing Erica but continuing to avoid really looking at her she eventually found her voice.

“Are we ever going to be able to talk about this, Erica?” Her tone was defeatist, so unlike Callie that Erica couldn’t help but look directly into her eyes, searching for a glimmer of the woman she knew so well, the woman she so hoped was still fighting for them, even if she couldn’t say it or even admit it to herself.

“I don’t know”, Erica answered as honestly as possible, a pained expression colouring her features as she futilely wished she could give her more, more of what she thought Callie wanted to hear and more of what she, in her most honest of realities, wanted to tell her. “I just hope so,” she gripped the hand rail tighter watching her knuckles whiten under the force, “because I...” she shook her head and exhaled as if to physically force the words from her mouth with the motion of it, “...I miss you, Cal. I miss you, Callie.” Erica averted her gaze almost immediately and felt the flush of embarrassment and elation, regret and relief flood to her face once more. She turned on her heel to leave and on releasing her hand from the rail she felt the slightest pressure of Callie’s thumb across her fingers. It was almost enough to make her stop and turn to face her once more. Almost. But she continued toward the door of the stairwell, closing her eyes and attempting to control her heart rate as she heard the soft thud of Callie sitting on the step behind her.